Tuesday 10 November 2015

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

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So yesterday I had another Tarot card reading done after seeing a voucher on one of the multitude of deal sites for a 30 minute reading for $29. Bargain I say!

I was curious to know two things: what was a meant to learn at work so I could finally move on from a job I'm not passionate about to something I would thrive in, and what was stopping me from being in a relationship.

Straightaway the tarot reader told me there were definitely guys around me and I just wasn't paying attention (haven't we all been there?!).

She did the first reading with a focus on career choices and told me what I already knew, that I had an emotional attachment to my current job and despite talk of leaving for greener pastures, I wasn't really making any moves to do so. Guilty again.

At the end she told me within the next 6-8 weeks I'll shift to know exactly what I want in a new job and then I'll create an action plan to go with it. Solid enough advice and something I've started working on by doing a 'wish list' of what I want in a new job, it's something at least!

When she moved to focus on relationships and confirmed again that there were definitely romantic interests around me but for whatever reason I just wasn't paying attention, I felt fear intermingled with excitement and was torn between paying attention to what she was saying and trying to work out who of the few guys I knew or was around frequently, she was referring to specifically.

I asked her my question of what was holding me back with the belief that there was something more sinister blocking me from moving on rather than just fear of the unknown and taking a risk to find out it didn't work. Again she confirmed that I was the only person standing in my way. I want love and to be in a relationship but don't believe I deserve to be or that I'm beautiful enough to have someone in my life so I'm appearing as unavailable.

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I asked then asked her how I get past this and allow the love that I truly want into my life. Her answer was relatively simple: I cut out some time in my week to do things that show love towards myself. I have a date night just by myself so I prove to myself that if I can love me, someone else definitely can!

It sounds so simple, yet it's amazing just how hard doing self-love related things are, especially if you haven't grown up with positive reinforcement or certain freedoms.

She also told me that I should do whatever makes me feel sexy to build up the confidence to meet someone, even if I'm not going to just yet, I'm making the effort to do so and that counts for something.

Along those lines she asked me what makes me feel sexy. I couldn't think of something immediately but pondered it on the way home. She suggested a pamper session, waxing, buying lingerie, whatever suited me personally. All I could think was how I'd been taught that sexy was bad. Every time I watched something where a female was skantily clad, my mother would tsk tsk at how terrible it was and say she wished the female in question would put more clothes on before it gave everyone the wrong idea. I disliked my mother's take on a lot of things, but being a parent, I kinda had to adhere to what she was saying even if it didn't align with my own personal views.

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So the question remains, what is sexy? How does one go about creating this feeling within themselves? What do I think is sexy or what would or could make me feel sexy?

When you Google 'sexy' you get a plethora of images of toned, slim photo-shopped women in barely there bikinis and suggestive poses. This may be what the world considers sexy, but I'm of a differing opinion.

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I'm more inclined to believe that sexy is a state of mind rather than an article of clothing. When you're comfortable in your own skin and have unshakable self-esteem and ultimately know your worth, that's pretty damn sexy!

As for what I can do to make myself feel that way, I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out ;-)

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