Monday, 16 February 2015

Dear Future Partner

Meghan Trainor's music is undeniably catchy and she definitely has a great voice, but I'm not so sure about the messages she's putting out there.

While I partially applauded her attitude towards fuller figure females in 'All About That Bass', I remembered a poetry slam video I saw a while back where one of the contestants did an open letter to Meghan Trainor where she said she thought it would have been a much more worthwhile lesson for her mother to teach her that she was perfect as she was, whether she was bringing booty back or saw herself as a 'skinny bitch'.

She had a point.

I'm all for supporting fuller figures given that I am one, but I don't think it should be done at the expense of demeaning the less than full figures out there. When it comes to the crunch, being a bitch isn't dependent on your size, it's dependent on your mentality and attitude.

In the song, she has lines which are size-equal such as 'Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top', and she brings to light the issue with photo-shopping which we're all aware of but so many of us still feel affected by, but the song still doesn't seem completely empowering, at least not to people with more treble than bass.

When I first heard 'Dear Future Husband' I knew it would be catchy as her other songs have been, but I also felt like it was essentially a list of demands she was making.

While it's great to have standards of what you will and won't accept, her list seems to be something akin to a high maintenance 1950's housewife.

Firstly, she's focusing on a heterosexual demographic by defining a male partner. Sure you can always appropriate it to your situation as we've all done at some point with other songs, but it doesn't really have the same effect.

The part that irks me the most whenever I hear the song in passing is 'If you wanna get that special lovin', tell me I'm beautiful each and every night'. As many demands as she places in the rest of the song, that particular line makes intimacy sound so cheap and easy. If you tell her what she wants to hear every night, you'll get lucky.

From a somewhat feminist perspective I don't think that would be a good enough reason to have sex with someone, regardless of what their part in my life is. Why does a woman need a man to tell her she's beautiful? To validate her beauty or self-worth?

She also demands to be taken on dates, given flowers every anniversary, she refuses to cook, he must apologize after every fight because she's never wrong, then there's the possibility of makeup sex. He must open doors for her and then she might kiss him, she wants a ring and to be treated right.

While everyone deserves to be treated right, that's probably the least demanding part of the song.

Sure, parts of it may be a joke, but if I were a guy interested in being with her, I would probably run a mile because it would be too exhausting to keep up with what she wanted from me.

Aside from the occasional physical forms of affection, what else is she putting into the relationship?

It's been a while since I've written a song, but I thought this would be a special occasion and great way to get back into it.

I've taken the liberty of re-writing the song to make it more universal and less demanding.

Dear future partner,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you want us to
Have a long and happy life (together)

Spend time with me, show me that you careAnd if we forget our anniversary, it'll still be fair
'Cause if we treat each other right
We'll have as close to perfect life
Giving each other exactly what we need


If we're both tired at the end of the day
We can just order in, it's okay
I know how to cook
But that's not what's got you hooked
Sit on the couch with me
Just hang out with me (hey)

All I want is to treat you the way you treat me
Even when everything is crazy
Let me know that it's going to be alright

Dear future partner,
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you want us to
Have a long and happy life (together)
Dear future partner,
If you want intimacy
Remind me why you fell in love with me

And if we ever fight
We'll talk it out and apologize
Because it doesn't really matter who was right
Even if I was wrong
Even if you were wrong
Why not just agree to disagree?

There's no need to bargain or plea.
All I want is to treat you like you treat me
Even when everything is crazy
Let me know that it's going to be alright

Dear future partner,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you want us to
Have a long and happy life (together)
Dear future partner,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
Don't make me feel like I can't be free

I'll be sleeping on my side of the bed
Just be considerate and kind
Don't always have a dirty mind
Just be a decent human
Give as much as you get
And I'll do the same

All I want is to treat you the way you treat me
Even when everything is crazy

Let me know it'll be alright
Dear future partner,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you want us to

Have a long and happy life (together)Dear future partner,
If you want intimacy
Remind me why you fell in love with me

Future partner, love me like I love you.


*Credit to http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/meghantrainor/dearfuturehusband.html for the lyrics


Meghan Trainor - 'Dear Future Husband'

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