Saturday, 27 December 2014

Expect the Unexpected!

You know when you think you know someone then out of nowhere they just drop what feels like a tiny bombshell on you? It's not so much shocking news, rather just something that you didn't know or realize about them and you have your preconceived ideas of the person that they are based on what you already know of them, then something they say tilts or maybe completely shatters that idea.

Like when you're in discussion with a fairly quiet and timid friend and they tell you about their sexual encounters while you're sitting there like 'what?!'. Or when a social and outgoing friend briefly mentions of their romantic history with the same sex and you weren't expecting it thinking or rather assuming that because previous conversations had been about the opposite sex that that was their inclination.

It's not a bad thing though. It's a shock to the system, a wake up call to say 'I am so much more than meets the eye'.

When a friend of mine casually mentioned her experiences with the opposite sex I was surprised since she didn't seem like the type of person that would seek that kind of experience or even bother to get close enough to another person to engage in any kind of act. I can only describe my reaction as that of someone who had just been told that their friend was gay. It ultimately wasn't the biggest deal, it was just the idea that I'd had of them had been changed quite quickly and significantly.

A little while later the shock had passed and it was irrelevant to everything. I kept the feeling in my though, just so I could prepare myself for future reference if I needed to sympathise or empathise with someone who'd felt something similar.

From a lot of things I've heard, seen and read, people's negative reactions to finding out about homosexuality are based on their idea that the person is something (straight) and having the illusion shattered. The person themselves hasn't changed, well in most cases they haven't, but you can't help looking at them differently, or through new eyes with the information you've now received.

Once the shock subsides and you realize that there really isn't any difference between who they were before and after they shocked your senses, things can return to some sort of normality. Although I can understand how some people might not see it that way.

Maybe someone's tiny bombshell created more ripples and waves than can be settled, but if that's the case, I'm guessing that it needed to happen in order for something big to change.

In my life I've come to realize that huge things happen, even if to the outside world they don't seem huge, because something in your life needs to change and if you're not willing to do it, it'll happen of it's own accord and you just have to weather the storm as it's happening.

The people that have surprised me with the unexpected haven't changed. They're still the wonderful friends that I count myself as incredibly lucky to have, I'm just blessed to know them a little bit better and to have my mind opened just a bit wider because of them. That's never a bad thing!

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