Monday, 15 December 2014

Mediocrappy

When did it become cool to follow the crowd and be a sheep of the herd? Has it always been cool or did the leader of the pack decide it was and everyone else just agreed?

For me, following the crowd generally just sucks. It's boring because everyone else seems to do it and quite often you're left wondering 'is this all there is?'.

Take my mother for example, I love her dearly, but have pretty much since birth, prided myself on being as she would call it a 'devil's advocate' for rarely ever doing what all the other kids were doing and taking immense pleasure in doing the opposite. She's always quite happily done as she was told to do and never complained (to the person or in public) about what following the crowd has cost her.

I've never felt normal (what is normal?!) and every time I tried to be what I considered normal in order to fit it, it just felt wrong to do so. I wasn't comfortable putting myself in that position and the people around me gave me the distinct impression that they wanted me there as much as I wanted to be there.

I was that weird kid at bible camps who brought worldly music to listen to during free time which few, if any, other kids appreciated given how groomed to religion they were and I was indifferent to.

I was more captivated by magic, movies and music instead of the bible stories which were retold time and time again as if trying to bring new life or perspective to them which in some cases they did, but I always saw it as flogging a dead horse too many times.

I've always loved wearing nail polish, so when I rocked up to my strict and tiny religious school one day whilst in primary school wearing one of the first colours of nail polish I'd ever owned, a deep red colour, behold the judgment that was sent my way!

I'm sure I was asked to remove it at some point that day, especially after one of the girls in the year below me who happened to be one of the most popular girls in school, told me she didn't like it. I was slightly inclined to agree on the proviso that it was a bit garish for school, but for everyone else, it just gave them another opportunity for them to pick on me for not conforming.

During lunch with my parents yesterday, mum noted (as she almost always does) something about my appearance, whether it be a particular type of eyeliner, item of clothing or whatever else so can inquire about. This time she brought attention to my set of earrings. (She finally agreed to let me get my ears pierced when I was 14 after asking since I was about 5 and seeing me wear fake sleepers for a month, I then got a second piercing done when I was 19 after sneaking off to the chemist while she was at the shops and managed to keep it hidden for a week before she found out, granted I was wearing a hair towel so I made it pretty obvious).

She asked me why I had two piercings for, to which I told her I wanted to have them both. Then she asked about ear cuff I was wearing which was completely different to the stud and ear chain cuff I was wearing in the opposite ear. She claimed that it wasn't symmetrical. I asked her why it mattered. She then made some comment about me not following the norm and always trying to do something different to everyone else, her tone indicating that she didn't approve and wondered why I couldn't just be 'normal' like everyone else and said that it wasn't good to go off and do my own thing all the time.

I give her a point or two for the last part. Yes, in some circumstances it's not always good to do your own thing, but I'm referring to cases of emergency or basically any case where teamwork is required. In living your own life, it's always seemed mediocre or rather mediocrappy to me to do what everyone else is doing.

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" - Dr. Seuss

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” - Marilyn Monroe.

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